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Originally posted by Edog - Welcome to the Squeaky Bum. A local tavern to spend your time in while waiting for the Baseball season to start. We got beer, ale, food, and a few jars of the hard stuff. No fruit machines but there is a foosball table, a darts area and billiards and pool as well. Mind your manners... And, E-mail us if you have anything to say. |
THE SQUEAKY BUM
A Brief History
Once upon a time, not so long ago, in a land not so far away, there was a kingdom. It was a rather small but prosperous, happy kingdom. The kingdom thrived on the labors and tithes of its serfs, who lived in villages and on farms throughout the land.
The serfs were happy. They enjoyed the benefits that their kingdom provided, which was a good thing because they paid high tithes in order to enjoy their benefits, but enjoy they did.
One particular village in this kingdom was made up of a special group of serfs. The majority of these serfs was a bit more intelligent, creative, dedicated and loyal than your typical serf. The serfs in the village genuinely enjoyed their lives and each other. They went about their business without interference from the King and his minions, and this was a privilege they greatly enjoyed. They engaged in tournaments regularly with a neighboring village, and often visited other villages and entertained visitors to their village.
During some seasons, particularly in the springtime, visitors from distant lands would visit this village. Some of these visitors were welcomed immediately, some were challenged initially, and if they withstood the challenges, they were eventually welcomed and became prominent members of the village. Some visitors did not withstand the challenges because they were weak and ignorant. At times, the serfs found that they needed minor assistance from the kingdom, and the King in his benevolence, sent them St. Vinny. The villagers adored St. Vinny. His kindness and tolerance helped the village to thrive, and the kingdom continued to thrive.
From time to time the villagers had squabbles amongst themselves. Some squabbles were carried out in the town square, where the rest of the villagers could watch, if they chose to, and assist, if it appeared necessary. Squabbles were settled and life went on.
One day, during the wintertime when the villagers were bored and had little work to do, and had to save their money for springtime, a wise serf established a village pub. All villagers were welcomed and were even allowed great amounts of credit. This pub was a place of good cheer and frivolity. Some of the squabbles moved from the town square to the pub, where they were usually resolved quite quickly by excessively imbibing in spirits until the cause of the squabble was forgotten. The pub restroom and floor underneath the back table provided a semi-private, cozy venue for the village wenches to entice the bored and lonely serfs with their pleasures. This establishment was called "The Squeaky Bum."
Then it came to pass that those in charge of running the kingdom saw how successful and happy the villagers were and they said to themselves "See how happy and successful our serfs are? Just think how much MORE happy and successful they will be if they had some structure and guidance from us, because we do indeed know far more than do they, those poor, ignorant serfs. Let us build them a NEW village, a BETTER village! Our serfs will be so much MORE happy and they will give us more of their tithes! We will show them how villages should be run. They will thank us for showing them."
At the thought of more tithes, the King and his advisors got even more excited. They said "Just think, if we showed these serfs how to behave appropriately when visitors from distant lands come to visit their village, the visitors will be more apt to stay and then THEY will pay us even MORE tithes. But something has to be done about the serfs who challenge visitors. And even worse, we MUST not allow the serfs to challenge the King. What if the visitors from distant lands were to hear such challenges and therefore lose respect for the King or decide that the village is not a happy place? The visitors must not be turned away or challenged, ever, not for even a moment. The old serfs will adjust. After all, they are just serfs, what do they know about marketing to distant visitors? And what if the distant visitors come to the village and see the serfs not working? What if they see the serfs lounging around in the pub or trying to figure out the price of rice in China? The distant visitors may think we're not a serious kingdom and they may leave and deprive us of all of that extra tithing."
So the King sent Chancellor Gert and Sir Laurent down to the village with their lances and swords and the men raced through the village, indiscriminately slashing down anyone who got in their way, all the while shouting "This is for your own good, you serfs! We are making your village better!" Villagers were banished, groups congregating in the town square were reorganized according to the topics they happened to be discussing at the moment, the pub was abandoned.
Many of the newer serfs agreed that yes, indeed, the village was a nicer place. They went back to work, with their heads down and their mouths shut, preparing to pay even a higher tithe to the King come next spring.
The serfs who originally populated the village, however, and many of their friends who arrived later, were not able to stand by and watch their village deteriorate as the officious, meddlesome King took stronger and stronger action and refused to acknowledge their cries for sanity. They said "there has got to be a better place. A kingdom where the King will again leave us alone to run our village and go about our business. Maybe there are many other kingdoms from which we can choose to do business with. In fact, maybe we are not actually serfs! Maybe we are not bound to our King and our land! Maybe, just maybe, we are free to roam the world, making our own choices and policing our own villages!"
And with that revelation, the villagers, the former serfs, forged ahead into the wilderness, looking for a place to settle. But as they traveled, they brought their pub with them. Wherever these villagers may roam, The Squeaky Bum will be the place where they can find respite and freedom from meddling monarchs.